Thursday, May 5, 2011

Mustard

I always get a kick out of myself when I learn something that the rest of the world has known about for quite some time. And it happens a lot...the older I get, the more I learn how I'm incredible at being a slow-bloomer. Take, for example, the following:

See this lady on the sticker? The one we find on bananas. When I was little, I had no idea what that was a picture of...I remember asking my sister Alycia in the store why there were a bunch of scribbles on the sticker, and what the meaning was. She laughed. Not the burly kind of laugh that comes from finding something funny. It was the kind of laugh that you make when when you are experiencing disbelief. I clearly remember the words she said next, "Those aren't scribbles, that's a picture of a lady holding fruit on her head". To this day, I've held a bit of resentment against the Chiquita banana lady...she has no purpose being on a sticker, and I hate that she was the hidden image in what I once thought was a chaos of scribbles.

Moving on to an even more embarrassing example, I remember sitting in the lovely van we had in the 90's with my sisters. We were parked in the Target parking lot while my parents were inside doing their quick shopping errand (yes...indeed it was okay to leave your kids in the car back in the day...we can take care of ourselves you know!). I finally got up the nerve to ask the question I knew would result in the ultimate of embarrassment, "Why the red and white circles for the target store?" To me, in my childlike mind they were just circles, plain and simple circles, with no symbolism behind them. The same sister, Alycia, made the same laugh, and explained the obvious target symbol. This is the day I learned that I was a little behind on the times. After this point, you know...with having figured out the target symbol and the Chiquita Banana Lady and all, I thought I could put my days of embarrassment behind me. But boy was I wrong! Keep reading:

Just so happens that my sister Alycia and I worked at three different jobs together. To begin our lovely sister career, we started off at a retirement home working as Activities Aides. This meant we spent our days vacationing and relaxing with the G'mas and G'pas of the territory, playing Bingo (that was always a big hit), light finger and foot exercises, doughnut runs with the G'pas, and putting together some crazy awesome puzzles. One day, we got a little wild with adventure and us sisters and the G'mas went outside to soak up some sun and read books to each other like a bunch of crazies. It was my turn to read and I stumbled upon a word the I had somehow missed all the years of my life and I was beyond excuses. You see, I had already graduated High School at this point, even had attended a few college semesters. The second I said it... "Pa-neu-mon-e-ah", I knew that I was about to be made a laughing stock. The G'mas got quite a kick out of the fact that I didn't know how to read Pneumonia!

Later on in our sister career, we were working for an insurance agent. Our other sister Heidi was living in California and I was making big plans with my brother Jesse to drive out to see her. The insurance agent often left us lacking with things to do, so I spent a lot of time researching things on the Internet for fun. This particular day I was researching all the exciting things I could possibly see in California when I came upon this beautiful place, one I had never heard. I whipped my office chair around and said to Alycia, "Maybe Jesse and I can drive through Yo-see-mite on our way back from California"! Then I heard that laugh....the one that meant I had just exposed myself to something embarrassing. "It's not yo-see-mite, it's Yoh-sem-i-tee."

That Alycia...she's a smart one!

So where was she this past week when I was finally clued into yet another thing I've been missing out on?
I've been studying about faith this past week and read up on the mustard seed in my Bible where it explains, "...for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you." (Matthew 17:20) I always thought comparing faith to a mustard seed was all about size and size alone. I would think, "I can do a lot with even a little bit of faith", or I would even pray for "increased" faith. Those aren't bad things, I was just not cluing into the additional meanings. The book, "Jesus the Christ" by Talmage explains what I've been missing this whole time, "The comparison between effective faith and a grain of mustard seed is one of quality rather than of quantity; it connotes living, virile faith, like unto the seed, however small, from which a great plant may spring, in contrast with a lifeless, artificial imitation, however prominent or demonstrative."

And that, my peeps, is when it hit me...not in the way other realizations did. When I realized the things I should have long ago about Chiquita Bananas, Target, Pneumonia and Yosemite, my face would turn red, my palms would get sweaty, my heart would race a little and I'd have the urge to go hide somewhere. But not with this latter realization. Instead of feeling embarrassed, I just ached a little inside, wishing I had understood this better a long time ago. Because when a person strives to have, not greater faith, but more quality faith something wonderful happens. I know it did for me. I've always had faith, tons of it. I will admit, though, that over the years I've been mixing my faith with doubt, impatience, want for control, bitterness, uncertainty and most of all, fear. You see, my life just hasn't panned out the way I've always thought it would, nor do I think that is how it is supposed to be. It's been easy to allow those tainted things to mingle with faith. But lets just say, I'm glad to know the importance of refining my faith, however large or small. I'm excited to begin removing all of the tainted aspects of what my faith has become so it can regain the quality it's been missing.

What to know more, read HERE.